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HANDBAG ON TOAST
-
Reserve met
- Closed: Thu 8 Jun 2006, 5:00 pm
- Listing #: 59064541
This morning I got out of bed late (Queens Birthday) and put my bread in my Sunbeam 2-slice toaster.
As I waited for my bread to toast, I read the paper and shook my head in disbelief when I read a handbag sold for $22,000 after Tana Umaga used it to slap his teammate Chris Masoe over the face.
I thought to myself; "at least now the fuc**** handbag is sold the whole story can die down and go away and we can start taking interest in the East Timor conflict."
Then I thought: "I'd better check my bread." (the toaster is 7 years old so sometimes the pop-up function jams).
What happened next just about caused me to drop my yoghurt on the floor.
The piece of toast was smoking in the corners, almost to the point of burning. But the middle of the bread was practically untouched.
I thought: "I might have to go to Briscoes today and buy a new toaster."
Then I thought: "Wait a minute, this is a sign." It dawned on me that this slice of toast was a gift, a miracle. It became obvious to me that this slice of toast is an image of New Zealand's most famous handbag:
The bag that was bought from a surf shop, left on a bar, snatched by an All Black legend, slapped a super 14 player to the point of tears, listed on trade me, then sold to a lady in Wanganui with bad teeth for $22,000.
As verification of it's authenticity I can supply samples of other pieces of bread that have been toasted in the same unit which look nothing like a handbag.
The reserve on this item is the replacement cost: 18 cents. But, obviously, a smart investor will see the long term value in this one of a kind collectors piece.
The first $3000 raised will be used to pay for Chris Masoes fine to the Wellington Rugby Union. Any proceeds left after that will be used to buy Tana a belt bag - not as attractive as a Roxy Handbag, but very effective for the disciplining of team mates.
As I waited for my bread to toast, I read the paper and shook my head in disbelief when I read a handbag sold for $22,000 after Tana Umaga used it to slap his teammate Chris Masoe over the face.
I thought to myself; "at least now the fuc**** handbag is sold the whole story can die down and go away and we can start taking interest in the East Timor conflict."
Then I thought: "I'd better check my bread." (the toaster is 7 years old so sometimes the pop-up function jams).
What happened next just about caused me to drop my yoghurt on the floor.
The piece of toast was smoking in the corners, almost to the point of burning. But the middle of the bread was practically untouched.
I thought: "I might have to go to Briscoes today and buy a new toaster."
Then I thought: "Wait a minute, this is a sign." It dawned on me that this slice of toast was a gift, a miracle. It became obvious to me that this slice of toast is an image of New Zealand's most famous handbag:
The bag that was bought from a surf shop, left on a bar, snatched by an All Black legend, slapped a super 14 player to the point of tears, listed on trade me, then sold to a lady in Wanganui with bad teeth for $22,000.
As verification of it's authenticity I can supply samples of other pieces of bread that have been toasted in the same unit which look nothing like a handbag.
The reserve on this item is the replacement cost: 18 cents. But, obviously, a smart investor will see the long term value in this one of a kind collectors piece.
The first $3000 raised will be used to pay for Chris Masoes fine to the Wellington Rugby Union. Any proceeds left after that will be used to buy Tana a belt bag - not as attractive as a Roxy Handbag, but very effective for the disciplining of team mates.
Please read the questions and answers for this auction.
Shipping details
- Free shipping within New Zealand
- Seller is located in Auckland City, Auckland
Payment details
- NZ bank deposit
About the seller
- 100% positive feedback
- Member since Mar 2006
Closes: Thu 8 Jun, 5:00 pm. 2006 This auction used auto-extend. 
Questions and answers
is the toast still eatable?
Absolutely... but it's cold so the butter won't melt unless you microwave it.
6:41 am, Tue 6 Jun
Absolutely... but it's cold so the butter won't melt unless you microwave it.
6:41 am, Tue 6 Jun
"The reserve on this item is the replacement cost: 18 cents. But, obviously, a smart investor will see the long term value in this one of a kind collectors piece." what if it rots or grow mould? lolzzzz
amykins (114 
)
7:08 am, Tue 6 Jun
)
7:08 am, Tue 6 Jun
Toasting preserves bread. and yes, definitley a Collector's piece.
7:26 am, Tue 6 Jun
The strap appears to be broken... do you think this is prophetic? That maybe one more handbag-related auction will break the spirit of a nation? ;)
jmiller (167 )
7:23 am, Tue 6 Jun
)
7:23 am, Tue 6 Jun
Could be!!!!
7:28 am, Tue 6 Jun
It's a vibe.... either way, it's nothing short of a miracle!!!!
7:47 am, Tue 6 Jun
is this the morning mad house if it is hiiiiiiii frm luke im going to scholl now
zezima3 (26 
)
7:56 am, Tue 6 Jun
)
7:56 am, Tue 6 Jun
Thanks Luke. Have fun at school.
7:59 am, Tue 6 Jun
Seller Comment: By the way, the toast is wholegrain, so it's very nutritious!
8:00 am, Tue 6 Jun
hi jayjay hi dom this is a very good idea haha lol well im off to rghs now (skwl) bibi
justlookin2 (64 
)
8:21 am, Tue 6 Jun
)
8:21 am, Tue 6 Jun
Thanks bibi....
8:25 am, Tue 6 Jun
far out you must have a crappy toaster!
thats a massive percent of the toast that hasnt even been singed.
maybe you could put the winnings towards a new one.
killabee_1 (28 )
8:54 am, Tue 6 Jun
)
8:54 am, Tue 6 Jun
Yes, but mysteriously, this is the only piece of toast that came out like that.....
8:58 am, Tue 6 Jun
how about a free plug for radio world in nelson. we are a car audio store. and i have just bid on your auction. Cheers
radioworld (200 
)
9:46 am, Tue 6 Jun
)
9:46 am, Tue 6 Jun
If you win the bidding, we'll happily get you on the air for a big, fat plug! (worth thousands in itself!)
9:49 am, Tue 6 Jun
Not meaning to be rude, but who in there right mind would pay thousands of dollars for a piece of toast, that isnt even cooked properly???
moorebids (149 )
9:50 am, Tue 6 Jun
)
9:50 am, Tue 6 Jun
Who knows! Someone paid thousands for cheap, second hand handbag! This is original and untouched!
9:56 am, Tue 6 Jun
r u sure you didnt do it yourselt by using a butter knife to scape the patten in to it like i do for my little girl i make her smily faces in hers...?
icecool_melting (5 
)
9:55 am, Tue 6 Jun
)
9:55 am, Tue 6 Jun
Absolutely not! This is a freak of nature.....a sign!!
1:13 pm, Tue 6 Jun
Thanks for the support
1:14 pm, Tue 6 Jun
Is there a miracle burning of the phone on the other side of the toast?...Have you thrown out the other pieces of toast? You should check them you might find the broken phone on another piece.
If one were so inclined to eat this piece of toast would it go better with peanut butter or plum jam?
dantheman105 (80 )
10:27 am, Tue 6 Jun
)
10:27 am, Tue 6 Jun
No sign of the phone yet... wait till breakfast tomorrow perhaps. And I would suggest Vegemite as a healthy and nutritious topping.
1:15 pm, Tue 6 Jun
Heya JJ check out my story for the Story of Tana, Masoe and the Handbag? Its a fantastic book. I actually messed with your toaster this morning which produced this fine toasty handbag print. I was wondering if maybe we could arrange an interview sometime on your reactions, and what thoughts were racing through your head when you checked your nutritious wholegrain toast and found the neat handbag print?? I want to include your interview into my books sequal... "The Story of Tana, Masoe and the
kiel87 (18 )
11:32 am, Tue 6 Jun
)
11:32 am, Tue 6 Jun
I must say,if you look closely, it sort of resembles the notes that Dom CAN,T hit or maybe even steven from Dunedin has run into it at full speed hitting it face first at full speed, credit to ya Jay Jay, you're a marketing genius...(does this go towards paying my bill??)
P.S. I just had a look at evil dicks predicament.....man thats one hairy Dick...Luv yas
eddie911 (170 )
1:56 pm, Tue 6 Jun
)
1:56 pm, Tue 6 Jun
It's defintely a handbag. If Tana found it on his breakfast plate, he'd feel like hitting someone over the head with it.
2:57 pm, Tue 6 Jun
i just wanna say, Dom, your halarious to listen to at 6am in the mornings. if it aint for u, i wouldnt be listening to the edge.
amykins (114 )
2:24 pm, Tue 6 Jun
)
2:24 pm, Tue 6 Jun
Thanks. Jay-Jay & Mike can be funny sometimes too.
2:57 pm, Tue 6 Jun
Hi Guys!!
Asking a question because i want to put this on my watch list! I love listening to you guys in the morning!
Hope it sells for thousands!! :)
(keep the $$$$ dont give it to charity)
...ashleigh... (51 )
2:49 pm, Tue 6 Jun
)
2:49 pm, Tue 6 Jun
Thanks for the support. We intend to keep every cent.
We have a mortgage to pay too you know.
2:58 pm, Tue 6 Jun
You can add it to your watchlist without asking a question. What I want to know is, why are my 18 items of branded clothing struggling to get past $1 when a piece of toast is getting 4,000+ views? Maybe I should throw in a free drawing of a handbag...
PS. I love your show too - can you stay on all day instead of finishing at 10 please?
mik123 (323 )
4:29 pm, Tue 6 Jun
)
4:29 pm, Tue 6 Jun
See, radio advertising works! That's why we get so many views. Can I put you in touch with a friendly Sales Rep?
On another note, I am flattered you like my show. Thanks. I would love to stay on air all day, but less is more!
4:40 pm, Tue 6 Jun
Hi there, I would be more interested in the toaster! How much do u want for that? maybe if you can throw in a loaf of Molenberg?
adman11 (341 )
4:34 pm, Tue 6 Jun
)
4:34 pm, Tue 6 Jun
Like I said earlier, the toaster is now a prized possession and you couldn't afford it. However, i am willing to sell you a loaf of fresh Molenberg for $50.
4:41 pm, Tue 6 Jun
Hey, you guys are such a laugh in the morning. Hope this auction goes well for you. Good luck.
kristivz_2000 (4 )
4:40 pm, Tue 6 Jun
)
4:40 pm, Tue 6 Jun
Thank you very much! I'm well on my way to retirement with this little investment!
4:42 pm, Tue 6 Jun
Thanks.... do you need glasses by chance?
8:34 pm, Tue 6 Jun
I,m like everyone else heard it on the radio and had to check it out !! Go hard and happy bidding for all!!! :-)
pererika (187 )
5:59 pm, Tue 6 Jun
)
5:59 pm, Tue 6 Jun
Thanks for listening!
8:37 pm, Tue 6 Jun
Hmmmmm.... not unless Tana whacks Masoe over the head with some. The Toaster doesn't do requests
8:38 pm, Tue 6 Jun
hi guys! nice going! i agree with you so much, this is a total sign! keep up the good work and can u please say hi to nicki and mel at 8 oclock tomorrow morning the 7th? please, please? thanks!!!!
bcool (28 )
6:05 pm, Tue 6 Jun
)
6:05 pm, Tue 6 Jun
Thanks for the support. Dedications are extra.
8:39 pm, Tue 6 Jun
i luv u jay jay. i might go hava look at ur website now its in my favourites! coz ur my idol when i go to bed
ronnie13 (41 )
6:20 pm, Tue 6 Jun
)
6:20 pm, Tue 6 Jun
Thanks ;)
8:37 pm, Tue 6 Jun
Clearly. I can tell by your generous bid. You're obviously intrigued enough to stop by and take the effort to bid AND ask a question. I'm flattered. It's lucky I have friends at Trademe. I'll look forward to your bid being removed soon...
8:42 pm, Tue 6 Jun
dude... keep that top bid... make him pay!!!! 10mill.... wat a loser!!! trade me should band him for life...
kiwitrader09 (79 )
6:35 pm, Tue 6 Jun
)
6:35 pm, Tue 6 Jun
humph!
9:05 pm, Tue 6 Jun
No, that guy is a LOSER
8:36 pm, Tue 6 Jun
hey guys, hope trademe are keeping as good an eye on your auction as they did the handbag and are going to remove the bogus bids and disable the stupid idiots who think bidding extreme amounts of money is funny, good luck with your auction
krissy_22 (124 )
6:47 pm, Tue 6 Jun
)
6:47 pm, Tue 6 Jun
Thanks Krissy.
9:06 pm, Tue 6 Jun
hey dom} i was really interested in buying the [toast]! but it seemd my pocket money has fallen short of the current bid! but if you can make this magicial item in your toaster from one slice of bread then imangine what the other pieces of bread out of the same batch of bread could do?? so how much for the left over loaf of bread?? as i can see a real money maker skam i mean maker please put up a buy now on the unused bits of bread thanx [ps] luv ya show 2 !!!
bbbottle (815 
)
7:47 pm, Tue 6 Jun
)
7:47 pm, Tue 6 Jun
Bidding will be back to a reasonable rate in no time... although a cool million would be nice, we prefer to work hard for our money.
8:36 pm, Tue 6 Jun
10 mill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
do u think theyre goingto pay dat!!!!!!!!!!
nath4 (76 )
8:19 pm, Tue 6 Jun
)
8:19 pm, Tue 6 Jun
I think I'll request those bids be removed. Too much time on their hands clearly....
8:35 pm, Tue 6 Jun
omg u guys are such a crackup!!! could u make a shout out for me on air to all the ppl that go to st marys??
THANX HOPE BIDDING GOES WELL!! MWAH! hayley
buy5 (30 )
9:58 pm, Tue 6 Jun
)
9:58 pm, Tue 6 Jun
Thanks Hayley
10:00 pm, Tue 6 Jun
I'd like to propose a toast.... to the Morning Madhouse, they're Marmitey good!
keno67 (61 )
10:13 pm, Tue 6 Jun
)
10:13 pm, Tue 6 Jun
Cheers!
7:34 am, Wed 7 Jun
Hey spunky! Would you spread some of your honey on the toatst if I win the auction? Pete L
cheeky.kiwi (44 )
8:11 am, Wed 7 Jun
)
8:11 am, Wed 7 Jun
For an extra Fifty!
8:17 am, Wed 7 Jun
hey guys...it was the wierdest thing,but when i went to have my weetbix this morning it was shaped just like the broken cellphone. only trouble was that it was the last weetbix in the box so i just had to eat it.. . :( neva mind... mmmmmmmmmmm weeeetbixxx cyas... good luck with the bidding
chargagal (260 )
8:22 am, Wed 7 Jun
)
8:22 am, Wed 7 Jun
u missed out on a fortune there mate!
8:26 am, Wed 7 Jun
It's a bummer you didn't put the word "hurricanes" in your auction as it is currently harder to search for than if you had. Good luck anyway - why are you going to pay Masoe's fine when he earns s***loads? Would you give it to a charity instead? Thanks.
drahmad (795 )
9:17 am, Wed 7 Jun
)
9:17 am, Wed 7 Jun
If we get more than $22 000, we'll give it to charity!
10:42 am, Wed 7 Jun
ACE..absoloootly ACE!!!!Cheers IAN(Im hoping it reaches the heights mine did)
jegostik1 (566 )
11:56 am, Wed 7 Jun
)
11:56 am, Wed 7 Jun
huh?
1:32 pm, Wed 7 Jun
You wouldn't happen to have a copy in white bread? It goes better with Marmite that way.
dbcint (20 )
3:32 pm, Wed 7 Jun
)
3:32 pm, Wed 7 Jun
Sadly, I think this miracle is a one-off......
6:14 pm, Wed 7 Jun
Thank you! That's so nice of you.
3:45 pm, Wed 7 Jun
Hey Jay-Jay, your shows awesome! Hope you get a decent ammount for this you might be able to buy some new shoes!!!!!
niki05 (41 )
4:08 pm, Wed 7 Jun
)
4:08 pm, Wed 7 Jun
Great idea!!! Thanks.
6:14 pm, Wed 7 Jun
what kind of bread is it??? and could i get the charcoal scraped off it if i brought it??? ryan
ronnie13 (41 )
5:00 pm, Wed 7 Jun
)
5:00 pm, Wed 7 Jun
It's Molenberg multi-grain. Approved by the heart foundation! And no, you can't scrape off the charcoal.... it's normal toast.... it just has a spooky image on it!
6:13 pm, Wed 7 Jun
This is fraud, you should be arrested for doing this...Do you think anyone will actually believe you!?
bouzouki (61 )
6:18 pm, Wed 7 Jun
)
6:18 pm, Wed 7 Jun
Are u really that dumb or are you just pretending? Please tell me you're pretending!
6:52 pm, Wed 7 Jun
Shit yeah i forgot!1!! i was the one who just happened to have a ""faulty"" toatster and this just ""happened"" to occur after the umaga incident, and ive just happened to put it on trade me!! Hahaha my friend it is you who are the stupid one!!!
bouzouki (61 )
7:24 pm, Wed 7 Jun
)
7:24 pm, Wed 7 Jun
hahahahaha!!!!! Somebody help me out here! this guy is LOOPY!!!
9:32 pm, Wed 7 Jun
Hi JayJay. Just wanna know, if I win the auction can I come work with you guys too? You guys rock I reckon you'd be the best workmates!! :P
sexysprite (32 )
9:46 pm, Wed 7 Jun
)
9:46 pm, Wed 7 Jun
This is truly a miracle, if you stare at the picture of the toast for 30 seconds without blinking and look at a blank or white wall you will see an image that will truly astound you.
kenali (350 )
9:54 pm, Wed 7 Jun
)
9:54 pm, Wed 7 Jun
Spooky!
6:16 am, Thu 8 Jun
Its a wonderful thing 'kiwi ingenuity' and being one of the only cultures that can truly love at ourselves, you are bloody wonderful ************************************
blackiron (332 )
10:31 pm, Wed 7 Jun
)
10:31 pm, Wed 7 Jun
Thanks.
6:16 am, Thu 8 Jun
did u know that if i put this up as an auction i dnt think i wud even get 2 buks for it lol haha its jus coz its jay jay and dom that ppl are like yeah lets place totally kul bids on it.!!loving ur show by the way i used to think that mikes voice was annoying but now i spose im used to it???lol!!!!
pagan_baby_girl (135 )
8:30 am, Thu 8 Jun
)
8:30 am, Thu 8 Jun
Oh come on people, live a little! Why would they put the toast on here if it wasn't genuine?! Rock on guys, this is a crack up!!
lowkey22 (106 )
8:32 am, Thu 8 Jun
)
8:32 am, Thu 8 Jun
appreciate the support!
8:42 am, Thu 8 Jun
Hi guys I think this is such a cool idea.Sorry JJ have to say you hooked up with the wrong brother!Dom you look a lot better now than you did back in your Palmy days, but how is your heart-throb of a brother?Just thinking about Daniel still does it for me.Anyway back to the toast, cheers for the laugh guys :~)
lowes1 (1211 
)
1:20 pm, Thu 8 Jun
)
1:20 pm, Thu 8 Jun
I've seen them both naked, so believe me... I definitely hooked up with the right brother!
4:20 pm, Thu 8 Jun
Woah man u see da handbag on da wall wen u lok at it 4 dat long ae!!! trippy..luv ya show and hope ya auction goes well 4 ya xoxo Laura
shona551 (0 )
2:19 pm, Thu 8 Jun
)
2:19 pm, Thu 8 Jun
hahaha. Awesome,.Thanks Laura
4:21 pm, Thu 8 Jun
How are you going to mail these to insure no damage to the toast? They can be a bit brittle.
Just checked some of my own toast works. I've had them for over 6 months now. The ones in ziplock baggies are fine. Sadly, my best ones are in what I thought was an airtight container. They are looking a little fuzzy, but just on the marmite.
mcaninch (8 )
3:20 pm, Thu 8 Jun
)
3:20 pm, Thu 8 Jun
I offer no long term guarantees, but the toast is very carefully wrapped and will be packaged in an airtight container, surrounded by cotton balls. Lucky bidder may even receive it in the courier. (I send for free, you know!)
4:22 pm, Thu 8 Jun