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'Here I was in a tree-lined Russian country lane, God only knows where, loaded into a dilapidated Russian car being driven at about 10kph by a bellowing drunken Moscow midget. At such times my thoughts invariably turn to the Tongariro River and I ask myself why the hell I'm here instead of there.'

That's but one hilarious moment from this highly entertaining book by a man who has travelled more than 1,000,000 miles and visited more than 100 countries.

There's never a dull moment as Bob Jones discusses the various means of travel (trains are his favourite), then looks at 'The Customs and Passports Farce' and at hotels, at home and abroad.

Then there are lively chapters on money and travel, on being ill overseas, the Noble Profession (begging) and the Ignoble Profession (waiting at tables), revolutions and political hi-jinks and many other subjects. In all these areas there are some highly amusing anecdotes, mixed with sound advice and some Jones-like swipes at officialdom.

A special treat is the chapter 'India is the Real Thing' ('the funniest nation of all') and the book ends with a hard-hitting chapter on New Zealand's future in tourism.

All in all it's a wonderful mixture of fun and wisdom, a book to be relished both by those who travel and those who stay at home.

Bob Jones, multi-millionaire and provocative writer and broadcaster, is the author of two previous best-selling hooks-jones on Property and New Zealand the way I wont it.

'Where else could you hand a letter to a leading hotel's hall porter for weighing and witness him teetering on one foot, the letter in one hand while the other is extended sideways for balance, his eyes closed and voice humming to achieve a scale's neutrality, while he quite seriously weighs the letter.' -From the chapter 'India is the Real Thing' Please click here to ask a question
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  • Seller location: Waitakere City, Auckland, NZ

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