An ex-iPod 40gb

Mr. Praline: I wish to register a complaint.
Owner: What's,uh... What's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it. 'E's dead!
Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead iPod when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner: No no he's not dead, he's restin'! Remarkable mp3 player, the iPod, idn'it, ay? Beautiful sound!
Mr. Praline: The sound don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! 'Ello, Mister iPod! I've got a lovely fresh Beatles mp3 for you... 'ELLO IPOD!!!!! Testing! Testing! This is your alarm call!
(Takes iPod and thumps it on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead iPod.
Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?
Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was bootin' up! 40gbs stun easily, major.
Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That iPod is deceased, and when I purchased it 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of playback was due to it bein' shagged out following a prolonged session of listening to Slayer.
Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for Kenny G.
Mr. Praline: PININ' for KENNY G?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did it stop working the moment I got 'im home?
Owner: The 40gb prefers not working!
Mr. Praline: Look, examined that iPod when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it was working was that it had been glued to a ghettoblaster.
Owner: No no! 'E's pining!
Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This iPod is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet Steve Jobs! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! THIS IS AN EX-IPOD!!
(pause)
Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then.