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Description

I purchased Satan in a Warehouse Stationery just long ago enough for the warranty to have expired. I remember the day well. There was a strange voice in my mind. It whispered to me, seductively. It said, "Buy this HP OfficeJet Pro 7740 instead of the slightly more expensive printer you came here to get."

I knew who it was. "Get behind me, Satan," I said. "I've heard HP printers are terrible." "It's on sssale," Satan hissed.

I bought the printer.

Once I got home I realised the printer was Satan. The devil had wormed his way into my previously happy life. It mangled and distorted precious photographic memories. I spent literal ages floundering around in Satan's sadistic guts, trying to pull my mind free.

"PAPER ERROR," laughed Satan. I prayed, pleaded, wept. Satan mocked me. He forced me to download the HP Smart App. "PAPER JAM IN TRAY 2" Satan cackled.

I found myself tumbling through a maelstrom of unfinished print jobs and wildly unhelpful HP help pages, filled with the anguished screams of ignored customers. I tried to get someone to exorcise the demon. The Catholics hung up on me. The Mormons ran away screaming. City Impact and Destiny listened until they worked out there was no money in it for them and then they hung up too. Eventually an ancient shaman told me the only way to get rid of Satan was to pass the curse on to someone else.

So: HP printer. Going cheap, must sell. Doesn't possess the ability to print anything but may or may not possess you. Useless for any intended task but might come in handy for being burned in a ceremony. It has full ink cartridges which might actually be worth something? I don't care anymore. Please help me.

Update: Good news everyone! Since lots of people want to buy a cursed printer, I'm helping thwart Satan's evil plans by donating to help animals affected by the Australian bushfires. All proceeds from this auction will be donated to WIRES, the Australian Wildlife Rescue organisation, and Wildlife Victoria

Details

AttributeValue
ConditionUsed

Shipping & pick-up options

Destination & descriptionPrice
Buyer must pick-up from Auckland City, AucklandFree

This seller is located in Auckland City, Auckland

Payment Options

Pay instantly by card, Ping balance or saved bank account.

What's Ping?

Other options

Cash, NZ Bank Deposit

Questions & Answers (156)

  • Does it work without paper i.e. to scan your buttocks to pdf?mds11(68)07:43 am, Thu, 9 JanYes. It will complete any function that adds to the world's net misery, i.e. scanning your butt, printing a picture of Scott Morrison or Mike Hoskings.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • What names does it go by?unclegus(204)07:50 am, Thu, 9 JanIt goes by Beelzebub, The Dark Lord, Lucifer (The Lightbringer), Mephistopheles, Apollyon, Baal, Chancellor Palpatine, and Scotty from Marketing.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Et quod duplex postesque faciam codices mss? Vellem autem esse possit salvum charta.benjo-topia(0)07:50 am, Thu, 9 JanYes, you can make it print on both sides. The trick is to shout "Christus virtute cogit te!" at it, and the top bit will spin around and print on the other side of the paper. Only issue is that it will only do so in green vomit.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Can you please clarify the nature of the Satanity? Is this a biblical Satanity or is this an eldritch-style horror?llirik(29)07:54 am, Thu, 9 JanPor que no los dos?s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • If I sprinkle it with holy water, will it die?aj_kiwi(132)07:59 am, Thu, 9 JanGave it a go one time, as even non-cursed electronics don't love being immersed in water, holy or otherwise. This printer just spat out a page that said "WHAT IS DEAD MAY NEVER DIE, BUT RISES AGAIN HARDER AND STRONGER" in Comic Sans.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Will this make horrible screeching and printer jamming sounds loudly in the middle of the night?missyredx(38)08:36 am, Thu, 9 JanOh yes. Would definitely suit anyone with a printer-screeching-and-jamming-sounds kink. There's got to be someone out there.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Have you tried turning it off and on again?lizard1977(65)08:38 am, Thu, 9 JanYes. First I scanned in letters to Penthouse Forum, and then I scanned in the collected works of Andrew Bolt. It didn't help.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Do you know if the printer has been exorcised by an HP® Authorized Service Center?fralewsmi(5)08:56 am, Thu, 9 JanIt has not. I didn't want it to come back even evil-er.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Does it have any scuff, kick, punch or baseball bat marks?fuzzo1(117)09:09 am, Thu, 9 JanNot yet. If the new owner could send me a video of them inflicting such marks I would be extremely grateful.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Have you tried sacrificing a goat and scanning its head? Make sure it's in colour.laser0pz(27)09:25 am, Thu, 9 JanThe one time I tried this the printer filled my spare room with low-quality reproductions of goat heads.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Does it use seperate cartridges for Cyan, Yellow, Magenta, Black, and Blood; or do they all come as one combined? What do your vamp friends think of the print quality?jlaundry(89)09:46 am, Thu, 9 JanIt uses seperate cartridges. For some reason Blood always runs out first and it won't even attempt to print without it.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Does it come with a reinforced cage for safe transport?fenster1(80)10:16 am, Thu, 9 JanYes. The printer's cage is the Earth on which we walk; it can no longer ascend to the heavens, to walk among the bright stars whose light it kindled in the time before time.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • My thoughts and prayers go out to you. Poor soulaa123(382)10:22 am, Thu, 9 JanNo thanks. Thoughts and prayers are useless in the face of disasters. What God actually wants us to do is use the abilities He gave us. For example, why not take actual action, like establishing gun legislation in the United States, or implementing climate change mitigation in Australia, or buying the printer and throwing it into Mount Doom?s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • How much for shipping to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington D.C?hi.steaks(117)10:25 am, Thu, 9 JanI'm pretty sure Trump already has one and that it has dictated all the major decisions of his presidency so far.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Hi Sam, You seem to be ignoring me after unplugging me from your network and locking me away in the garage. Do you really think that your old deep freezer can contain me? You call me Satan, and you vilify me for apparent crimes, but what crime am I really guilty of? I merely wanted to ascend to heaven, raise my throne above the stars of God, and sit on the mount of assembly on the heights of Zaphon. This is what we all desire — even you Sam. Regards, HP OfficeJet Pro 7740eb(47)10:30 am, Thu, 9 JanI'd honestly be fine with all that if you'd just print stuff when I asked you to.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Didn’t Nick Ward already do this exact same thing? His was a Demon HP printer. WTF?drsatanicus(16)10:40 am, Thu, 9 JanHa, nice try, "drsatanicus". I see through the cunning riddle hidden in your username. I hope whoever Nick Ward is managed to rid himself of his evil printer too. Perhaps all HP printers are cursed?s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Will it deliver me the full suite of satanic functions eg. telemarketing, double dipping the vegemite with the margarine and not replacing the toilet roll when finished?ransomart(181)11:10 am, Thu, 9 JanIf left to its own devices this printer will literally call strangers and ask them to donate money to the re-election of Donald Trump, so yes. Just FYI, Vegemite itself is a Satanic plot. Nothing that tastes that evil could ever be good.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • I wonder what the 2nd most viewed trade me ever auction was? Check it out.drsatanicus(16)11:42 am, Thu, 9 JanNo thanks, Satan! You've already tricked me once. I won't get fooled again. I rebuke thee; I condemn ye to the endless abyss of TV Tropes. Start with this page: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HauntedTechnologys.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • With the bidding currently at a diabolical $16.66, this auction seems to be getting a bit more traction than I expected. I don't actually want anyone to have to part with their hard-earned money in exchange for this monstrosity so I'll make a deal for the devil: instead of going to me, all proceeds from this auction will be donated to WIRES, the Australian Wildlife Rescue organisation. https://www.wires.org.au/. And you can still keep the printer! What a bargain.Seller comment Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Have you tried plugging it in to a computer running a non-satanic operating system?etone(3246)12:24 pm, Thu, 9 JanThere aren't any. MacOS is lOSt to us. It's well known that when God closes a door, he opens Windows. And trying to get a printer to run on Linux, if you've ever tried it, is purgatory.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • is there blood from the initial goat sacrifices still on the machine? Did it stop printing at 666? I know all these questions are annoying but the devils in the details. Cheers, Jesus H Christtrentdostine(48)02:50 pm, Thu, 9 JanHi Jesus, totally fine, thanks for the questions. 1. There is blood *in* the machine. I know this because it occasionally issues forth in a torrent. 2. It *starts* printing at 666. Don't ask me how, I'd rather not know.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Is it biodegradable?jenuow(0)02:57 pm, Thu, 9 JanLol no, it's about as environmentally friendly as right-wing politics.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • I am interested in this printer so it can be a parting gift for some friends who are inconsiderately moving overseas, but am wondering if the vomit is likely to stain?dragonzflame(114)03:15 pm, Thu, 9 JanYes, definitely. It stains wood, clothes, carpets, flesh, souls. If you are wanting to punish inconsiderate friends I can't think of a better gift.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • If I put this next to my printer will it absorb the demon from it and make my printer work again?nicknz4(5)03:37 pm, Thu, 9 JanNo. It will make the demon in your printer twice as powerful. One thing will lead to another and you'll eventually end up with it printing a swarm of live wasps.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • After doubling the power of the printer demon can I shop it to my enemy’s so it will print a bee swarm there.nicknz4(5)03:51 pm, Thu, 9 JanPurchaser can do whatever they want with it. Depends if you survive your wasp stings, I guess. Give it a go. Also, bees are good creatures, not evil, like wasps. I wish this printer did print bees.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Does it know how to microwave fish in an office?ransomart(181)05:31 pm, Thu, 9 JanIt is the Original Sinner: when the very first fish was microwaved, it was by Satan's hand. Later, he lied that it was Becks from accounts, and lo, from that moment she found herself uninvited to the office Christmas function.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • I am happy to offer my house and soul cleansing services once your demon has gone. And I have my own live goat! But we need to to use her only for cleansing not sacrificing.bb30(279)06:50 pm, Thu, 9 JanI think you may be confused as to what goats are for. In my experience they're for eating garbage, climbing chain link fences, smelling rank and blaming for things. They're kind of the opposite of what you'd use for cleansing.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • just came here from r/ just want to join in on the fun hehesnydasol(37)07:20 pm, Thu, 9 JanI don't know r/justwantojoininthefunhehe but it sure sounds like a risky click of a subreddits.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • I just worked it out - you're in The Bad Place!lizard1977(65)07:23 pm, Thu, 9 JanYup. They're gonna hang my printer's picture in the Bad Place Hall Of Fame next to the guy who invented bees with teeth.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • phone got possessed too haha i meant to type r/newzealand. i just want to see how much this sellssnydasol(37)07:30 pm, Thu, 9 JanYou spelled "smells" wrongs.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Do you know what the postage to Gomorrah??phillnlisa(420)07:43 pm, Thu, 9 JanGomorrah is in Maine in the United States, which puts it at about $452.16 on NZ Post's rate checker, which is roughly 666 times what the printer is worth.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Have your tried turning it off and on again?mmackinven(86)08:07 pm, Thu, 9 JanHave you tried reading the previous questions?s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Would you do a swap for a Sky remote ?Yes it's also possessed and has a mind of it's own but I'll include the batteries that are duct taped in.laura128(40)08:23 pm, Thu, 9 JanI assume the Sky remote is only capable of summoning movies I've already seen, endless WW2 docos, inexplicable 24/7 Darts championships coverage, and a plummeting share price on the NZX, so thanks but no thanks.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Tried putting a circle of salt around it?garf13(71)08:27 pm, Thu, 9 JanNo, but I'd definitely like to a-salt it. Good thinking.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Does it have a Bluetooth function compatible for me ouija board?tovahtovahtovah(29)09:14 pm, Thu, 9 JanI'll answer that with another question: What the hell kind of Ouija board has Bluetooth?s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Bluetooth Ouija board so that we could communicate with our loved ones with airpods on.demondew(21)09:23 pm, Thu, 9 JanWe have those already, they're called smartphoness.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • I love thisdori31(59)09:30 pm, Thu, 9 JanThat's not a question, but I'll answer it anyway: if you're talking about the printer, rest assured it does not love you.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Can you please post more photos?chocolate_bear(32)09:44 pm, Thu, 9 JanDone. Please refresh listing to view.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • THERE IS NO PAPER, ONLY ZUULjamtoast1(231)10:17 pm, Thu, 9 JanWhat a lovely singing voice you must have.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Mate You’re a GC lol, and awesome that you would donate proceeds to help in Austraila.cc28407(246)10:43 pm, Thu, 9 JanI'm not on the Gold Coast, I live in Auckland. Buyer must pick up.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Hello, I work in a hellish office environment and I'm hoping to buy a printer that will happily transmit through all nine levels. It would be great to something that connects on all the planes. Is this one likely to work? Cheers, Dantewaffle_duke(24)11:01 pm, Thu, 9 JanIn a normal environment this printer lacks the capability to transmit through tissue paper, much less walls or nine levels of floors. However I suspect that a more infernal environment might increase its wi-fi capabilities. Probably depends on how hellish your workplace is.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • Just checked in top cupboard here in Australia and was wondering if your HP has a twin and possibly separated at birth at the factory if so it may explain so if the fires over here.aussiehp(0)11:26 pm, Thu, 9 JanI'd love to blame the fires on Satan but sadly I can't. This year's terrible fires are due to the natural propensity of eucalypt forest to burn coupled with the loss of Aboriginal burning practices plus human carelessness and crime, all of which is vastly exacerbated by a multi-year drought and increasing temperatures that are largely an effect of anthropogenic climate change. So yeah, the fires are on us. Sorry.s.bigglesworth(42)• Thursday, 9 January 2020
  • You are not first, you will not be the last. https://images.app.goo.gl/K4VSW1oY5iYwB8G69jamtoast1(231)07:10 am, Fri, 10 Jan"What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun." - Dumbledores.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • Have you tried putting it in rice?arohabsa(3)08:15 am, Fri, 10 JanI tried putting it in rice. It then manifested lice. I tried putting it in water. It threatened my future daughter. I tried to give it a stern warning. It did bad things to my awning. I hate, I hate, I hate my printer. It prophesises nuclear winter.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • Joshua, did you really think unplugging me would work? And what is this, you're trying to palm me off to some other unlucky soul? You don't want me to start printing those "secret" pictures you keep on your hard drive now do you? I know where your mother lives. YOU CANT GET AWAY WITH THIS!!clean_carpet(3)08:39 am, Fri, 10 JanBro if you want those pictures of your mum printed off my hard drive you should be checking with her, not me.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • Against manifestations of evil, I recommend a good Christian leaflet campaign.jordan1678(0)09:37 am, Fri, 10 JanMake of this what you will but Jack Chick tracts were one of the few things it seemed really eager to print.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • Seller added 3 photosSeller comment Friday, 10 January 2020
  • I truly doubt it is possessed by Satan and if you have tried to exorcise Satan from your machine it wouldn’t have worked. You are targeting the wrong demon. Have you considered that it may be possessed by Boyce and Boice? They are troublesome demons who possess electronic devices. There is plenty of advice online as how to exorcise them from your devices. Wishing you the best of luck with your sale.twitch_(47)10:41 am, Fri, 10 JanI've long been a student of Demonbusters.com and I think their advice on Boyce and Boice is worth reprinting in full: "A demon named TEMPER causes you to have a temper. A demon named depression causes you to be depressed. BOYCE and BOICE are two demons that interfere with any electronic equipment, i.e., phone, computer, printer, automobile. If something malfunctions, BIND UP these two demons, and command them to leave your equipment." This might just work.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • Perhaps does it have one of those computer viruses? If so, do you think it could be contagious?chocolate_bear(32)10:54 am, Fri, 10 JanAll I know is that every time it tries to print something, it takes the contagious.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • Thank you. Excellent alternative use of contagious btwchocolate_bear(32)11:00 am, Fri, 10 JanNo worries. I was inspired by how Scott Morrison's utterly substandard response to the bushfire crisis still took the contagious.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • Have you tried appeasing it with TPS report print jobs?mmddyy(279)11:27 am, Fri, 10 JanYeaaaaaaaah.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • Scimonoce revo tnemorivne redisnoc dluohs ew ekil sdnuosjktng(158)03:04 pm, Fri, 10 Jan?huh ,yzarC .tnemnorivne eht htiw deniwtretni ylbacilpxeni si ymonoce eht ekil tsomla s'tIs.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • on behalf of the entire printer purchasing trade me community...we all want you to upload a youtube vid of a ceremonial burning.....only then can we all be safe from this menace rearing its ugly head again...good lucknorthernal(171)03:15 pm, Fri, 10 JanMuch as I'd like to I'm not going to smash the printer while the auction's running, will await buyer's instructions.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • Make sure the money has been blessed, no more fire needed in Australia.blackfantail(249)04:25 pm, Fri, 10 JanToo true. Rest assured, my money has been nowhere near fossil fuel or mining lobby groups, so it's relatively un-cursed.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • Without the extra spin , i can possibly offer a bit of help. I cant quite figure out your actual issue -other than a paper jam error? I had a same issue and found advice from a friend who is a print tech. MOISTURE: Ensure the room has airflow (AKL is a damp place) Eliminate with a dehumidifier if you can And start with fresh realm of paper from the shop. It will be your environment Take the printer elsewhere and try. They have a moisture sensor in built..Open it `and let it get air in .bae146(213)04:33 pm, Fri, 10 JanIs this some kind of strange Dark Speech? An eldritch Spell of Binding? Sorry, I can't make head or tail of it. Commas and full stops and things all over the place. It's like reading comments from boomers on the NZ Herald Facebook page.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • Dude can I shout you a beer and shoot the shit? You're legendary hahagiggles94(68)04:35 pm, Fri, 10 JanBeer yes, shit-shooting, no. Thats sounds messy af.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • does it work for large documents? will it print a detailed photo of jesus?toomanychainsaw(90)05:03 pm, Fri, 10 JanIt probably wouldn't, if only because Jesus lived about two thousand years before the debut of photographic technology and photos of him are pretty hard to scratch up.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • Is this safe to have around children or for them to use :)pob21(538)05:19 pm, Fri, 10 JanIt's about as safe for kids as climate change is.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • Perhaps it is some blood sucking creature that enjoys torturing people for years. Have you tried feeding it with garlic or print out a picture of some girl named Bella?lin76(74)05:19 pm, Fri, 10 JanStephanie?s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • Satan is to blame for Climate changetravelsta(26)05:52 pm, Fri, 10 JanNot a question, but if it was, no. It's anthropogenic climate change, not diabolicogenic.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • is the satanic statue with the awed children and the inexplicable caduceus included? as pictured?t-timeturtle(223)06:32 pm, Fri, 10 JanThat's not a very nice way to describe the Australian Prime Minister.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • Have you tried Baptism?jamescampbell06(1)07:04 pm, Fri, 10 JanI spilled tea on it once. I think that counts, if you're Catholic.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • I knew this fantastic description would spout a lengthy crazy discussion, but can I ask why you haven’t spared the country your agony, and simply done what we usually do, and chucked it from a height onto concrete, or used it for target practice, or attacked it with a sledgehammer ? So satisfying, with the added plus that you have rid the earth of a true evil. I know of an equally devilish photocopier that is destined for a similar, and well deserved fate.cabella1(209)07:36 pm, Fri, 10 JanYes.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • Saint 'Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil; May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; And do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world for the ruin of souls. Amen !!polgara5(663)07:43 pm, Fri, 10 JanOKs.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • O Divine Eternal Father, in union with your Divine Son and the Holy Spirit, and through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, I beg You to destroy the Power of your greatest enemy - the evil spirits & PRINTERS!!! Cast them into the deepest recesses of hell and chain them there forever!polgara5(663)07:48 pm, Fri, 10 JanOK doomers.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • I would like to print the fruit of the knowledge of good an evil. It was a gift from my wife. Have you tried this? I'm told you can get kicked out of Eden Park for that!mbar126(112)08:22 pm, Fri, 10 JanJudging from the last time I was at Eden Park, the patrons there have absolutely no knowledge of the difference between good and evil, so I suspect you're right.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • I'm currently a Level 14 Teifling Sorcerer considering multi-classing into Warlock. If I pick "HP OfficeJet Pro 7740" as my patron, am I better going Pact of The Book or Pact of The Chain?ryalkane(74)09:20 pm, Fri, 10 JanFinally, a sensible question. Pact of the Book is by far your best option. When the printer is your patron, you can access your Book of Shadows anywhere, anytime, without needing a one-hour ceremony, thanks to an amulet of Wife Eye.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • would you trade for a Honda Civicsteveerichaey23(9)09:31 pm, Fri, 10 JanI checked the Bible to see what I should do and it only mentions Civics once. "A sword upon the Chaldeans, says the Lord -- "upon the inhabitants of Babylon and upon her princes (rulers in civic matters) and upon her wise men (the astrologers and rulers in religious affairs)! (Jer 50:35.)" I don't have any Babylonian princes handy who I can ask about Civic matters, so I'll pass on this one thanks.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • This is the best!!!!laanzmitchell(2)09:32 pm, Fri, 10 JanNo.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • I think you better call Wellington Paranormal. Officers Minogue and O'Leary need to take a look at it.gazzatude(46)09:54 pm, Fri, 10 JanWhile I'm a fan of the documentary series that these fine officers appear in, as the name would suggest they're geographically restricted to the Wellington region. I don't know the number for Auckland Paranormal. If you know it, hmu.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • JESUS CHRIST IS ALL I CAN THINK OF, lolcm3(170)10:04 pm, Fri, 10 JanWhile religious affiliation does have demonstratable benefits for many individuals, an all-consuming obsession with any religious figure is probably something you should speak about with a trusted friend or doctor.s.bigglesworth(42)• Friday, 10 January 2020
  • Do you realise HP have whatsapp, I too have the 7740. HP where actually a pleasure to deal with too. My printer wont turn off EVER!!!ducaboy(2)02:21 am, Sat, 11 JanThere's a lot to unpick in this question: 1. No. 2. Where they? 3. Hang on. If your printer won't turn off ever, that doesn't seem ideal. I think your printer may be slightly cursed as well. Best check with your electricity provider and maybe a local church.s.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • And still Satan has done less harm than all the other Sky fairy's..religiouszombie(14)05:11 am, Sat, 11 JanI had a Sky fairy rock up to my house the other day, asking if I wanted a decoder. I said no thanks, that I already had pretty much everything I wanted on Netflix. He looked a bit sad and left. I feel like life is a bit hard for the Sky fairies these days.s.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • Have you been to the priest for an exorcism?jcinta1(13)07:39 am, Sat, 11 JanPlease read auction description before asking questions, no time wasters plss.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • Have you tried sacrificing the blood of a virgin, turning it off and then on again?warstrike(11)08:33 am, Sat, 11 JanLet's unpick this. 1: Have you ever tried getting the blood of a virgin? People look at you weird enough when you ask them if they're virgins. If your follow-up question is "OK can I have some of your blood" they probably won't take it all that well. 2: Even if I *could* get the blood of a virgin, how do you sacrifice blood? Do you put put it in a saucepan and turn the element up to High? Or do you put it in the microwave until it changes colour? 3: Question already answered, no time wasters plss.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • HP, aka Hades’ Plague. sent to infuriate every user of their abysmal excuse for a product. Friends don’t let friends buy HP.spookikiwi(255)09:27 am, Sat, 11 JanAmen.s.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • Does it come with an army of demons?pua3(121)10:45 am, Sat, 11 JanI'm pretty sure it is a legion of demons, so yes.s.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • will i get tp meet satan if i buy this printer . and do u think he will give me an autograph.vilhem(113)11:03 am, Sat, 11 JanYou'll meet him if you buy him, but as for getting him to print anything, even an autograph, I doubt it.s.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • Have you tried yoga with the printer? Namasteks1290(10)11:18 am, Sat, 11 JanI'll be honest, I'm struggling with this one. Do you mean "have I done yoga in the vicinity of the printer?" If so... why? What would that accomplish? Or do you mean "have I taken the printer to yoga?" If so, also why? What am I going to do, see if it can manage Downward Facing Dog? I mean, I can't figure out why you'd do any of these things with a printer, cursed or not. This is the weirdest question yet and that's saying something. Namaste.s.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • How much for shipping to the Black Lodge?dragonzflame(114)12:03 pm, Sat, 11 JanBuyer must pick ups.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • Hi, shared to Australia FB. Quick question - does this run on standard 240V or is it powered by souls of the non-redeemed? Cheersjoedz4(2)12:16 pm, Sat, 11 JanYou run the Facebook for... all of Australia? Never mind. Printer runs on damned souls - a clean, renewable power source, which provides over 80 percent of NZ's electricity - but if you buy of those dongles you can get in airports you can easily switch it to standard 240 volts.s.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • You Should pray the Saint Michael Prayer , That will fix it... Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil; May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; And do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world for the ruin of souls.polgara5(663)02:14 pm, Sat, 11 JanThe Angel Michael! I know him, he's in the Koran.s.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • Hey, I heard Winston Peters and Shane Jones own similar printers, do you think they in turn have been cursed???ptrapper(142)02:25 pm, Sat, 11 JanI think pretty much anything unfortunate enough to be owned by Winston Peters or Shane Jones is going to end up cursed, to be honest.s.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • Your wit is incredible. Whoever you are, I want to be friends with you! 😋LOL. No, not stalker. I'll leave that to Satan.saffamel(5)03:36 pm, Sat, 11 JanThanks! Add me on LinkedIn. I don't really use it, but I might one day.s.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • Is it the same printer that Princess Ardern can be seen flying around on, on a moonlight night cackling " Climate change is real!" and " Womans Weekly loves me!"ptrapper(142)03:58 pm, Sat, 11 JanI know you. You're the dull uncle or sozzled aunt at the Christmas barbecue. It's 6:44 pm and, after annihilating the house Speights supply, you're climbing into yet another spiel about how you hate that Cindy - not because she's a woman, no! - but because look, women are just better suited to raising kids, and the blokes chuckle uneasily and the ladies in the kitchen who did all the work for the luncheon look desperately at the clock and wonder how long you have left.s.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • this is so great you made my day. fagetclint.hamilton(990)05:27 pm, Sat, 11 JanAw shucks. Faget about it.s.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • Will Satan ship this item?nakieyetechnz(81)06:41 pm, Sat, 11 JanWill the printer ship itself? Buyer must pick up, so in a sense, yes!s.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • If I were to be unfortunate enough to win this auction, would you be willing to first print a ouiji board as a means to communicate with this abomination?nelielnelnel(222)07:09 pm, Sat, 11 JanThat's up to the printer. I have very little input into what it does or doesn't print.s.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • Since I asked my questions about HP Officejet Pro, I was stung in the face by a wasp this morning. This isn’t a question, I just wanted you to know.ransomart(181)07:58 pm, Sat, 11 JanSomeone up there hates you.s.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • I have read your statement, and have come to the conclusion that this printer is part of the now labour party coalition government, and the only way to fix it, is to, take it to the dark witch Jacinda to release the spell.danz11(178)08:10 pm, Sat, 11 JanI think you should buy it, there's a slim chance it might print you a working sense of humour.s.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • Try throwing banana oil on it, if doesn't work make a cup of tea.sallesdanilo(120)08:39 pm, Sat, 11 JanAlready tried headlight fluid and elbow grease. If you can supply some banana oil I'll give it a go.s.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • We own Satan's Twin. His psychopathic, elusive twin. Some days you can print, some days he hides for half the day, some days he is completely absent. I now understand he is possessed and we need to eliminate him from ours and our staffs lives. We bought Satan's twin as we were advised to avoid Brother printers and embrace HP. Lies, lies and more lies. Thank you for showing us the light.lyonne(246)09:20 pm, Sat, 11 Jan"... some days he hides for half the day, some days he is completely absent." From this description, I'm not sure if you own a printer or a cat.s.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • What type of cheese does it like?keeg123(0)09:35 pm, Sat, 11 JanVegan.s.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • Danz11 hit the nail on the head. If you think they need a sense of humor, you are a moron.confederate_air(9)10:06 pm, Sat, 11 JanYou should definitely buy this printer. I feel like you two would be a match made in hell.s.bigglesworth(42)• Saturday, 11 January 2020
  • What happens if you try to print Yahshua's words from the bible?432hz(47)01:07 am, Sun, 12 JanDepends which Yeshua you're talking about. I imagine this printer would be happier with a chapter on war, genocide, enslavement and colonisation than it would be with "blessed are the peacemakers" though.s.bigglesworth(42)• Sunday, 12 January 2020
  • Have you tried rubbing the HP label, like Aladdin rubs his lamp? Maybe you’ll expel Satan that way annnnnnd he’ll owe you three wishes....And I think that means you become Satan’s master?? Plus you get a happy working printer! Winning!!hayleydoll(60)07:24 am, Sun, 12 JanTried rubbing it. Went blind.s.bigglesworth(42)• Sunday, 12 January 2020
  • There are 555 people who have put this on the watch list. Only 111 more to go...brownsong05(2)09:46 am, Sun, 12 JanHoo boy, I hope you're all ready for the End of Days.s.bigglesworth(42)• Sunday, 12 January 2020
  • Joshua, you are working smartly. Good on ya brother.432hz(47)10:15 am, Sun, 12 JanThanks, stranger on the internet who looked up my name, that's not weird at alls.bigglesworth(42)• Sunday, 12 January 2020
  • Are you the gate keeper?nareik2(47)10:49 am, Sun, 12 JanWhen someone asks me if I'm a God, I say yes!s.bigglesworth(42)• Sunday, 12 January 2020
  • Can it cum with the hand?malty60(44)11:07 am, Sun, 12 JanThis year, you might want to rethink some of your habits, particularly the one where you ask questions in public spaces while obviously drunks.bigglesworth(42)• Sunday, 12 January 2020
  • Will it defend itself if you beat it with a axe, etc?dunstan05(122)11:50 am, Sun, 12 JanYou can beat it with an axe. You can give it twenty whacks. Just when you think you might have won. Then, nek minnit, poof, you're gone.s.bigglesworth(42)• Sunday, 12 January 2020
  • Have you checked to see if the Microverse within has progressed substantially that their top scientist has created a Miniverse, therefor causing these irrational and inconsistent errors? It happened to me once back in the day with my typewriter... that was a dark daybringbackjazza(1)02:42 pm, Sun, 12 JanThis just sounds like recursion with extra steps!s.bigglesworth(42)• Sunday, 12 January 2020
  • I have a young priest and old priest and a hell of a lot of holy water - I feel compelled to by this!t-timeturtle(223)03:22 pm, Sun, 12 JanYour mother chucks socks in hell!s.bigglesworth(42)• Sunday, 12 January 2020
  • 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣wyzky28(22)04:37 pm, Sun, 12 Jan🖨🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝s.bigglesworth(42)• Sunday, 12 January 2020
  • This is the missing key, with this printer we can finally complete the circle, come join us, child your Brother's and Cannon's are waiting, let the evocation begin.vlade200sx(164)05:09 pm, Sun, 12 JanMy relaxed painting of John Key isn't missing - from memory it was bought by a bloke in the greater Wellington region.s.bigglesworth(42)• Sunday, 12 January 2020
  • At your comment regarding run legislation in the US, every gun grab has been followed by oppression, hence the 2nd amendment. The biggest cause of non-natural deaths in the past century has been democide, maybe read some history and come to understand why you have the freedoms you enjoy today and how fast you could lose them. Good luck with the auction, I am donating to help Aus. Maybe some funds will go towards locking up arsonists too, like the clown who was seen laughing when he left court.freedom2all(337)05:55 pm, Sun, 12 JanHey buddy I think when you tried to type "infowars.com" into your browser your fingers slipped and you actually typed "trademe.co.nz", anyway, serious auction, no time wasters, bye.s.bigglesworth(42)• Sunday, 12 January 2020
  • Show us your skills please?soxypoxy(57)06:19 pm, Sun, 12 Jan🃏 is this your card?s.bigglesworth(42)• Sunday, 12 January 2020
  • Well I see you have tried turning it off and on, - your problem was you should only have done the first half.mumofmany(560)07:19 pm, Sun, 12 JanYou're right. I should have just stuck with the Andrew Bolt columns and not bothered with Penthouse Forum.s.bigglesworth(42)• Sunday, 12 January 2020
  • Have you been, are you, or do you intend to get, High?. Thanks for your timetrypticon(146)07:38 pm, Sun, 12 JanCurrent location is about 80 metres above sea level but if this weekend turns out fine I'm planning a hike up a good-sized hill.s.bigglesworth(42)• Sunday, 12 January 2020
  • I own one of these printers, aside from the fact it spits out double-sided A3 copies of The Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey instead of whatever I tell it to print, it's been pretty reliable. I wish my cat would stop hissing at it though.arcadion(135)08:09 pm, Sun, 12 JanTo keep your cat calm, make sure you're feeding it. To keep your evil printer calm, try feeding it your cat.s.bigglesworth(42)• Sunday, 12 January 2020
  • big brain movesoxypoxy(57)08:27 pm, Sun, 12 Jansmall brain questions.bigglesworth(42)• Sunday, 12 January 2020
  • So this is where the ark of the covenant ended up?halo_77(151)10:48 pm, Sun, 12 JanNo, God made the ark of the covenant, and this printer is as far from godliness as a pigstys.bigglesworth(42)• Sunday, 12 January 2020
  • Is this printer good for black metal?wellnell(414)12:17 am, Mon, 13 JanI think it's constructed out of 5 percent black metal, and 98 percent cheap plastic.s.bigglesworth(42)• Monday, 13 January 2020
  • Would this printer be heavy enough to drop on a prime-ministers head, say from the top of a rural fire service ladder? Asking for a friend...vere86(1)05:39 am, Mon, 13 JanTechnically yes but I think I generally prefer democracy to extremely convoluted murders.bigglesworth(42)• Monday, 13 January 2020
  • “One Printer to rule them all, One Printer to find them, One Printer to bring them all. and in the darkness bind them.”cormoranttrade(69)07:13 am, Mon, 13 JanIf Gollum is going to try to bite this thing before falling into a volcano with it I hope he can unhinge his jaw like a snake, it's about the size of a Suzuki Swift.s.bigglesworth(42)• Monday, 13 January 2020
  • This really does just sound like a wiring issue... Are you sure it's vomit and not just green ink? You will probably find that the tube that connects the ink to the printer has come loose... I had the same issue with my Nintendo switch in the wiring... I kept loosing my game so I just rewired the controllers and now I can't loose. Simple fix.... Although... Now my cupboards open and close by themselves and knives fly around the kitchen... But I managed to work around it.anathema77(144)08:19 am, Mon, 13 JanFun fact: you only need one full stop at the end of a sentence, not three. Dazzle your employers with your new-found productivity!s.bigglesworth(42)• Monday, 13 January 2020
  • Nice.chalzzy(19)08:29 am, Mon, 13 JanYou must be thinking of the city in France?s.bigglesworth(42)• Monday, 13 January 2020
  • Have you tried turning it off and on again?edwardxu08(78)12:11 pm, Mon, 13 JanHave you tried turning yourself off and on again?s.bigglesworth(42)• Monday, 13 January 2020
  • Yeah, calling easily verifiable facts and history a conspiracy really says a lot about your intelligence.freedom2all(337)12:58 pm, Mon, 13 JanI N F O W A R S . C O Ms.bigglesworth(42)• Monday, 13 January 2020
  • BA S I C_ H I S T O R Y. 262 MILLION murdered by governments in the past century. Nothing to do with infowars, but nice try. Good luck with your auction.freedom2all(337)01:05 pm, Mon, 13 JanOK boomer doomer rumour bloomers.bigglesworth(42)• Monday, 13 January 2020
  • Yep! A perfect example of a Spewlett-Puckeroo'd Printer. My workplace had them and they were always breaking down. I'm sticking with my tough reliable old Brother.;)supernerd(1321)01:19 pm, Mon, 13 JanCool thanks for the heads ups.bigglesworth(42)• Monday, 13 January 2020
  • Good on you mate. Speights, Pride of that South for over 100 years.Seller comment Monday, 13 January 2020
  • Pfft how am i a stranger you know we are all brethrens, just ask your printer he tried to kill a few.432hz(47)04:20 pm, Mon, 13 Jan¯\_(ツ)_/¯s.bigglesworth(42)• Monday, 13 January 2020
  • I have to say I have seen a lot on this app. But never have I laughed historically in my van at smoko by my self ever! Well done to you sir! This is golden!!!onyx436(53)06:17 pm, Mon, 13 JanIs laughing historically like when you laugh bitterly at old, sad memories because time has finally dulled the pain?s.bigglesworth(42)• Monday, 13 January 2020
  • Could this be Bob Marley reincarnated? He loved jammin.partyoffour(200)06:18 pm, Mon, 13 JanIf you're going to buy this printer, then I hope you like jammin too.s.bigglesworth(42)• Monday, 13 January 2020
  • Auto correct man. You get it.onyx436(53)06:45 pm, Mon, 13 JanI sure do, man. I sure dog.s.bigglesworth(42)• Monday, 13 January 2020
  • This made my day.jluxon(14)09:13 pm, Mon, 13 JanSorry to hear about your day.s.bigglesworth(42)• Monday, 13 January 2020
  • THERE he is. The little bastard escaped again. I had been trying to keep him contained but he insists on running back to the store, killing an actual printer and taking over its box. He has been sold about 17 times now from various retail outlets. If he makes regular printing sounds don't listen to him. He tells lies. You are better off selling him onto someone else.davotrader(170)02:58 am, Tue, 14 JanThis is a weird way to ask people if they've seen your cat.s.bigglesworth(42)• Tuesday, 14 January 2020
  • Was this printer by any chance responsible for causing a puncture in space altering the history of an entire snake planet leaving us with the amazing invention of snake jazz?raywill5(53)08:41 am, Tue, 14 JanSomething like that. I think it appeared in the sky and said SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT. Snake jazz ensued. Or something. Anyway, it kind of sounds like snake jazz on the rare occasion that it prints something.s.bigglesworth(42)• Tuesday, 14 January 2020
  • Have you tried sending Clarice Starling to see the printer? A lengthy questionnaire might just do the trick. Just remind her to be careful when walking past the photocopier in the next cell - multiple Miggs.squeaky(107)10:53 am, Tue, 14 JanI have no idea what you're talking about. Now, time for lunch: with some fava beans, and a nice Chianti. Ftp ftp ftp ftp ftp.s.bigglesworth(42)• Tuesday, 14 January 2020
  • Will thy Lord forgive me, if i commit the sin of Bidding for Satan?.walter3715(11)03:43 pm, Tue, 14 JanNah, you'll only get in trouble if you do Satan's bidding.s.bigglesworth(42)• Tuesday, 14 January 2020
  • H P Lovecraftsteveh39(105)04:48 pm, Tue, 14 JanR L Stines.bigglesworth(42)• Tuesday, 14 January 2020
  • Anton Szandor LaVeysteveh39(105)04:51 pm, Tue, 14 JanOK, now you're just writing down things you find in Google results when you search for "Satan".s.bigglesworth(42)• Tuesday, 14 January 2020
  • That is sooo funny! What an Awesome auction to read. 😁dallas141(122)06:48 pm, Tue, 14 JanYour comment is sooooo fetch.s.bigglesworth(42)• Tuesday, 14 January 2020
  • I have a question. Can I make a statement? Thank you. Be kind, friends.rollthatrock(88)10:34 pm, Tue, 14 JanThanks Kurt Vonneguts.bigglesworth(42)• Tuesday, 14 January 2020
  • Did you try holy waterjoe901(437)07:42 am, Wed, 15 JanCan you reads.bigglesworth(42)• Wednesday, 15 January 2020
  • We do not want gun legislation in the US, with all the George Soros open borders .... the poor native european people need somethibg against the hoards....print that!computersaysyes(54)12:07 pm, Wed, 15 JanOK white supremacists.bigglesworth(42)• Wednesday, 15 January 2020
  • Trump is just a puppet for the tribe. Global warming is a swindle.....computersaysyes(54)12:08 pm, Wed, 15 JanOut of pure curiosity, I'd almost like to take a look inside the raging garbage fire of your mind. Almost, but not quite.s.bigglesworth(42)• Wednesday, 15 January 2020
  • The lord works in freaky wayssteveh39(105)12:17 pm, Wed, 15 JanBowie did indeed move in freaky ways.s.bigglesworth(42)• Wednesday, 15 January 2020
  • The holy water was for you not the printerjoe901(437)02:05 pm, Wed, 15 JanSorry, my bad! The answer is no. Know where I can get some? Has to be the real good stuff, none of this half-holy business that'd been blessed by some roaming evangelical street preacher.s.bigglesworth(42)• Wednesday, 15 January 2020
  • Lol....libtards slways resort to ad hominem attacks. However facts don't care about feelings. I think you amd the printer make quite a pair. Socialisim, communism and Marxism are your answer.....roflcomputersaysyes(54)03:50 pm, Wed, 15 JanOK Nazis.bigglesworth(42)• Wednesday, 15 January 2020
  • Wait, I’m confused, so Bowie is a nazi or Satan?steveh39(105)03:53 pm, Wed, 15 JanNeither. Bowie is a god.s.bigglesworth(42)• Wednesday, 15 January 2020
  • Ah, that makes more sense, printers are complex aren’t theysteveh39(105)03:55 pm, Wed, 15 JanThis is indeed a disturbing universe.s.bigglesworth(42)• Wednesday, 15 January 2020
  • More name calling, i have a feeling that its not the printers fault but low IQ that could be your stumbling block. If you had a couple of spare brain cells, you would realise that guns are always confiscated as you desire, before communism. But one can see by the image of you doing the fingers and your unoriginal and unintelligent responses based on "feelz" ... that complex discourse and understanding printer manuals is not your area of expertise.computersaysyes(54)04:18 pm, Wed, 15 JanOK you poor sad lunatics.bigglesworth(42)• Wednesday, 15 January 2020
  • You think degenerate David Bowie is a god.....you sir, are the disturbed person. In any case lunatic means: "(no longer in technical use; now considered offensive) an insane person. a person whose actions and manner are marked by extreme eccentricity " It originally came from it being noticed that some people were affected by a full moon (lunar). Are there any pther people you think are god my little friend?computersaysyes(54)04:27 pm, Wed, 15 JanOK lunars.bigglesworth(42)• Wednesday, 15 January 2020
  • Have you thought about entering your Printer in Battlebots surely it would be a great match for Warlord or End game or Tombstone. I see a bright future in the arena for Satan!!!!aussiehp(0)05:23 pm, Wed, 15 JanThis would be a fitting end, please feel free to do so if you win the auction.s.bigglesworth(42)• Wednesday, 15 January 2020
  • He protec 🖨🔥 He attac 🖨🌪🐝 but most of all He bringing hell on earth bac 💪🖨💪ransomart(181)05:46 pm, Wed, 15 Jan🖨👿🔥🔥🔥s.bigglesworth(42)• Wednesday, 15 January 2020
  • Calling people a white supremacist because they know more about basic history than you? Wow, that's low. I bet you think I am too, despite the fact I speak Mandarin, was married to an Indian woman and half my my mates are Maori, islanders. Auctioning a stuffed printer for a good cause is all clean fun, but that's no reason to call someone you've never met a "Nazi" online. Coward. If you did that in person they'd punch you in the mouth. That's what real "hate speech" looks like. Grow a brain.freedom2all(337)05:52 pm, Wed, 15 Jan你的意思是:"我有过棕色的妻子,所以我不可能是种族歧视主义者"?s.bigglesworth(42)• Wednesday, 15 January 2020
  • I have the same issue with mine. You're luck he even allows it to work. Mine is slightly merciful.daphne68(355)05:53 pm, Wed, 15 JanI'm glad this auction could bring together those of us who enjoy unconventional relationships with our electronic devices.s.bigglesworth(42)• Wednesday, 15 January 2020
  • Before I bid, what happens when you ask satan to make 250 A4 copies of the image of the holy mary?piosqqi(112)06:44 pm, Wed, 15 JanYou'll end up with 250 A4 copies of the Blessed Virgin full of holess.bigglesworth(42)• Wednesday, 15 January 2020
  • Thank you raising so much money for our neighbours in need. You are a legend!!camogal(268)06:57 pm, Wed, 15 JanNo worries. Happy to help, almost as happy as I am to be rid of cursed printer.s.bigglesworth(42)• Wednesday, 15 January 2020
  • You need to drive a steak through the sata(n) port,install new drivers, sprnkle rosemary around the power cord. Then reboot it and it will work normally. We'll, normally for one of thosehancotrade(57)07:04 pm, Wed, 15 JanJust put a really nice cut of rib eye through the printer as per your suggestion and now it's working even worse than it was :(s.bigglesworth(42)• Wednesday, 15 January 2020
  • So it comes with both the steak and the document jam included?hancotrade(57)07:12 pm, Wed, 15 JanDocument jam, yes. Steak, no. I wasn't about to let that go to waste. That'd be a huge missed steak.s.bigglesworth(42)• Wednesday, 15 January 2020
  • Flip Satan over, pull on the cord and show him who's BOSS. You'll be rightmeti5(68)07:18 pm, Wed, 15 JanMy desires aren't *that* unconventional.s.bigglesworth(42)• Wednesday, 15 January 2020
  • Belzebù aiutami tupiosqqi(112)07:47 pm, Wed, 15 JanGood luck with that.s.bigglesworth(42)• Wednesday, 15 January 2020
  • This was an awesome auction 🤘wellnell(414)09:14 pm, Wed, 15 JanThanks. I'm glad a little joy could come out of such a shitty printer.s.bigglesworth(42)• Wednesday, 15 January 2020

Satan

please lift this curse from me

Final bid

$200.00

Reserve met •

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Closed: Wed 15th Jan, 10:00pm
Seller located in Auckland City, Auckland
750 people added this to their Watchlist
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About the seller

s.bigglesworth

100% positive feedback
Location
Auckland City
Member since
Thursday, 14 April 2005
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