I'm every nightmare you've ever had. I am your worst dream come true! I am everything you ever were afraid of!

Clowns are the scariest people on earth, and they're coming for your valuables, your children and your sanity. But fear not, herein these pages is a proven four-step system to provide you with the knowledge you need to protect yourself- ASSESS, ANALYSE, DEFEND, PROTECT.

From instructions on how to defeat a clown in close combat and tips for spotting the plainclothes clown, to tutorials for fully clown-proofing your home against these painted and bewigged warriors, Chuck Sambuchino delves into the terrifying clown underworld to teach you what to do when clowns attack... because it's only a matter of time before they do.Author BiographyChuck Sambuchino is a produced playwright, and a magazine writer, freelance editor, husband, dog owner, and cover band guitarist. He lives in a heavily fortified residence in a secret location.

NZ delivery is usually within 1-2 business days using tracked courier. Please see About Store for more detailed shipping information and our returns policy. We love happy customers - so please get in touch if you have questions or concerns before leaving feedback!