Listing Detail Tabs

I purchased Satan in a Warehouse Stationery just long ago enough for the warranty to have expired. I remember the day well. There was a strange voice in my mind. It whispered to me, seductively. It said, "Buy this HP OfficeJet Pro 7740 instead of the slightly more expensive printer you came here to get."

I knew who it was. "Get behind me, Satan," I said. "I've heard HP printers are terrible." "It's on sssale," Satan hissed.

I bought the printer.

Once I got home I realised the printer was Satan. The devil had wormed his way into my previously happy life. It mangled and distorted precious photographic memories. I spent literal ages floundering around in Satan's sadistic guts, trying to pull my mind free.

"PAPER ERROR," laughed Satan. I prayed, pleaded, wept. Satan mocked me. He forced me to download the HP Smart App. "PAPER JAM IN TRAY 2" Satan cackled.

I found myself tumbling through a maelstrom of unfinished print jobs and wildly unhelpful HP help pages, filled with the anguished screams of ignored customers. I tried to get someone to exorcise the demon. The Catholics hung up on me. The Mormons ran away screaming. City Impact and Destiny listened until they worked out there was no money in it for them and then they hung up too. Eventually an ancient shaman told me the only way to get rid of Satan was to pass the curse on to someone else.

So: HP printer. Going cheap, must sell. Doesn't possess the ability to print anything but may or may not possess you. Useless for any intended task but might come in handy for being burned in a ceremony. It has full ink cartridges which might actually be worth something? I don't care anymore. Please help me.

Update: Good news everyone! Since lots of people want to buy a cursed printer, I'm helping thwart Satan's evil plans by donating to help animals affected by the Australian bushfires. All proceeds from this auction will be donated to WIRES, the Australian Wildlife Rescue organisation, and Wildlife Victoria
There were no answered questions or comments placed on this listing.
Your question and answer privileges have been disabled.
You must log in to view questions and answers on this listing. We recommend reading questions before you make any purchases.
You must log in to ask or answer questions posted. We recommend reading questions before you make any purchases. Available only to approved bidders. You must be an authenticated member to ask questions Find out more about becoming authenticated. Your account is in debt Your current account balance is You must credit your account to use this feature.
Firearms licence #
Firearms licence holder name
First name is required
Last name is required
Your current account balance is Please note you will lose your question and answer privileges if your account is in debt for more than 2 weeks. Credit your account.
I confirm that I am over 18 years old.
To prevent your personal details being misused please do not put emails or phone numbers in questions. Failure to comply may result in the suspension of your account. The seller cannot add a Buy Now price once bidding has started.

Shipping options

  • Buyer must pick-up
  • Seller location: Auckland City, Auckland, NZ

Payment options

    • Use your debit or credit card, bank account or Ping balance.
      Visa MasterCard QCard
  • Other options
    Cash, NZ bank deposit

Ping includes:

Buyer Protection Learn More