Mini Morris 1975

Alarm = Buy a Rottweiller

Passenger Airbag = The missus

Air con = Wind down the windows

Allow wheels = It actually has these

Power steering = Go to the gym and beef up those arms.

Grown men are known to run cowering in fear; children cry, and the dinosaurs' extinction is all due to this small weapon of mass destruction! As you approach this car it will remind you of a roller coaster, waiting to take you on an exhilarating ride. After opening the doors and then sitting in the seats that feel like a warm hug, youll start the engine and then listen to its rev as if it were a tiger yawning after a long sleep. The power that comes through the steering wheel and gearbox will bring back memories of an Intergalactic Class 4 Star destroyer! Driving this car can be compared to riding a raging bull during a rodeo. If your hands are not on the wheel, you can feel this car pulling away, screaming and jumping to be free. When you finally control this beast you can make cuts in the road with the precision of a surgeons scalpel. This car's handling carves the road as if it were butter, the tires and brakes are also superior: your passengers will think you've hit a stationary tree with the force that this puppy stops. The sound from the car while driving is music to your ears, you can hear the exhaust notes rumbling from the engine to the back muffler like your Mother-in-law's stomach after your world famous Vegetarian Beef Vindaloo... Every increase in speed brings a louder sound until it red-lines in a symphony of the anguishing screams of Hells demons. After getting out of this car, you almost have to use a fish slice to peel yourself out of the seats due to the excessive G-Force you have just encountered! Any questions?