Really Colin, if we had wanted your advice we would have asked for it. When he suggested to Sharon for the hundredth that she should try turning it off and on again Sharon responded with the only sensible answer "Have you tried shoving up your arse?" Perfect birthday or leaving card for both the Colins and the Sharons of this world.

A card with a retro-style photo of a man and woman at an office computer, where the man is pointing to the computer with a speech bubble saying 'Have you tried turning it off and on again?' and the woman sitting at the desk with a speech bubble saying 'Have you tried shoving it up your arse?'.

• Card dimensions: 126x178mm
• Blank inside

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