It's Not a Midlife Crisis ­It's an Opportunity By Andrew G. Marshall How to Be Forty-Or Fifty-Something Without Going Off the Rails Paperback, 2017, 264pages, very good condition

It's good to take stock from time to time but at forty or fifty-something you can find that you're dissatisfied and bored. The temptation is to take a wrecking ball to your life but that risks alienating your partner and your children - without necessarily ending up any happier. Just gritting your teeth, doesn't work either - anyway, you've already tried that! Fortunately, there's another way to become fulfilled and lead the life that's right for you (rather than what your parents, society or anybody else thinks).

If you're fed up with life, questioning whether you should stay married or thinking you might be better off with someone else, marital therapist Andrew G. Marshall has a radical idea to help you move from the first half to the second of your life without messing everything up: it's not a midlife crisis, it's an opportunity. He explains in part one: The three central questions you need to answer (and why everybody else is distracting themselves and avoiding facing them). How to put what's happening now into the context of your whole life journey. How to avoid the tempting short-cuts that cause more heartache in the long term. Why if you pass this midlife test everything is up from here. Why you're not in the wrong.

If it's your partner who has turned grumpy, critical and blames you for everything, you will be feeling alone and full of despair. Don't worry, in part two of this compassionate book, Andrew G. Marshall explains: A whole new vocabulary for discussing the midlife crisis without putting your partner's back up. What's really going on in your partner's head. What causes depression and how to help. Five killer replies to the blocks that stops you talking properly about your marriage. Why you're not in the wrong.

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