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Welcome to Trade Me, Aotearoa’s platform of possibility where thousands of Kiwi visit every day to find their new. From hunting down a bargain, searching for your dream home or climbing the career ladder, Trade Me is the place to bring your ambitions to life, with thousands of new listings added every day.

👀 Views: 436,000
💰 Sale price: $100,100
📍 Seller's location: Tāmaki Makaurau Auckland

During what was a robust Question Time in Parliament, then Prime Minister Dame Jacinda Ardern called Epsom MP David Seymour 'such an arrogant prick' once her mic was turned off. Or so she thought.

The now infamous quote made its way to Trade Me, and even made international headlines. The two politicians joined forces to raise money for the Prostate Cancer Foundation. And the nation got a good laugh, too.

👀 Views: 143,798
💰 Sale price: $9,538
📍 Seller's location: Te Tai Tokerau Northland

Coming in at second place, the DIY spa-boat, or 'Spoat', was quite a head-turner. Seller Matt salvaged the boat from a local river and became a real Kiwi do’er up-er over the span of five years. When speaking to Stuff in 2016, Matt revealed that "the project took five years, two girlfriends, 15 mates and two hospital visits to finally knock off."

Complete with a "butt-kicking" audio setup, mini fridge and lights, this one sure garnered a bit of interest from the Trade Me community.

👀 Views: 136,156
💰 Sale price: $275
📍 Seller's location: Whakatū Nelson

They say that two things are certain in life: death and taxes. Well, we put forward that there's actually a third certainty: Kiwi being (perhaps unhealthily) infatuated with phallic fresh produce listed on Trade Me.

They always come attached to a good cause though, and this phallic carrot was no different. The seller raised a modest $275 for prostate cancer research. Ka pai!

👀 Views: 115,905
💰 Sale price: $400
📍 Seller's location: Wairarapa

One of the slightly whackier listings was for a simple roll of tinfoil, claimed to be military grade. What started out as a joke quickly went viral, getting over 100,000 views.

The tongue-in-cheek auction, a nod to the month-long protest at Parliament, then turned into a charity auction, raising funds for the St John Ambulance service.

👀 Views: 79,672
💰 Sale price: $66.66
📍 Seller's location: Pōneke Wellington

This seller claims they were sent on a light supermarket run, and saw a perfectly innocent jar of Vegemite, apparently not noticing the 'insidious' green gluten-free marking. They clearly weren't a fan, with their review of the coeliac-friendly spread stating 'Your taste buds are sent straight to hell. It is truly heinous and satanic. Worst stuff I've ever tasted.'

Surely it can't be that bad? Regardless, someone who 'enjoys suffering' paid a very fitting $66.66 for this jar of satanic goop. The seller used the money to put together food parcels for their local food bank and kindergartens to 'offset the evil unleashed'. Nice one.

👀 Views: 71,445
💰 Sale price: $205
📍 Seller's location: Waitaha Canterbury

Covid was a big theme in 2022, and this carried over to Trade Me too. Seller 'martyb123' had a rat named Covid for sale, presumably a play on rapid antigen tests – or RATs – that were in wide use at the time.

Covid is described as 'completely apolitical' and enjoying 'long scurries on the beach.' Us too, Covid.

👀 Views: 61,506
💰 Sale price: $71
📍 Seller's location: Tāmaki Makaurau Auckland

Yes, more rude fruit. This time yonic, rather than phallic. Look it up. According to the seller, 'There’s no questioning what the good lord intended to create with this sweet specimen, her lips don’t lie.'

This auction raised a modest donation for Endometriosis NZ.

👀 Views: 59,439
💰 Sale price: $280
📍 Seller's location: Tāmaki Makaurau Auckland

Who remembers Black V? The seller probably does, and so too would the winner of this auction. Could this be the most expensive (and rarest) energy drink in Aotearoa's history?

The very rare can of caffienated goodness sold for $280, a significant mark-up on the original shelf price. Half the winning bid amount was donated to Gumboot Friday.

👀 Views: 44,527
💰 Sale price: $2,105
📍 Seller's location: Tāmaki Makaurau Auckland

Ever wondered what we'd look like with see-through skin? Wonder no more. In what was apparently a world-first, this 3D-printed anatomical model won the Engineering NZ 2021 ENVI Award for Engineering Creativity.

Also referred to as 'Anatomically correct Barbie', the cutting-edge and slightly cursed figure was then auctioned off on Trade Me, raising over $2,000 for the Association for Women in the Sciences (AWIS) - Women in STEM Award!