7 Dune Crescent, Otatara, Invercargill, Southland

Let's do the Limbo. How low can I go? I keep dropping the bleeding price, and still no bugger can pry open their blinkin' wallet to let the flamin' moths out to see the light of day. Gordon Bennett, give me a break. I got her now, at $216,500. I can't go any lower. Please Lord, how much longer do I have to hold onto this Millstone around my neck? It's been 4 jolly years.

Ideal investment opportunity for a Landlord's portfolio.

Whilst I was painting the Bathroom Ceiling today at 1:30am on Monday 2nd March, it occurred to me that 1st Home Buyers have had 4 years to purchase this VERY CHEAP property and have not done so.

Now a few investors are "cashed up" and don't need a mortgage.

When I had "house-sitters", they paid me no Rent. $0.00c. This was because the ICC - City Council said that I can Rent it out, once I get it up to "healthy home standards". Which I could not afford to do. Thus I was not able to charge rent.

However, I have done a lot of remedial work, (I can send you a list).

I've painted nearly all the inside of the house. Only got 3 rooms left to do. They are: (1.) Upstairs room. (2.) Long room's ceiling. (3.) Conservatory = (40% of it now done).
So the New Owner won't have to spend hours and hours doing painting at least.

There now only requires some money to be spent on a few "big ticket" expenses (like a water pump as it vanished, as did the invisible Hot Water Cylinder; and some replacement aluminum windows - just for the windows on the South Wall of the house, as the rest are already Alloy) - again, I can send you a list.

ROI: Basically (A) Very cheap initial purchase price and (B) some initial costs to get the house up to "Healthy Home Standard", then you can charge a Premium Rent due to the: (1.) Location. (Renter families can send their kids off to play at the beach). (2.) Number of possible bedrooms, (3.) Has a 4-car Garage. (A lot of tenants will pay more for a house with garaging).

I estimate that you could rent it out for $600 per week. And there are a shortage of Rentals in Invercargill, (so I am told).

Do the sums, and you'll come-up trumps.

Don't worry that it is Leasehold, as the Lease (on land) is $1,400 per year and the Rates (on house & garage) is $800 per year.

The Lease goes for 20 years from 2019 until 2039. At which time it is most likely to be renewed, as the Council likes to receive money from various assets that they own, such as the entire Sandy Point domain area.

This is the cheapest 3+ bedroom house in the whole of NZ. It is a give away! You are bonkers if you don't buy it.

You can't buy a 3+ bed house with Quadruple Garaging anywhere in Aotearoa for under $330,000.

4 x Car Garaging. House includes an Upstairs room = 2 story place.

Where in The Land of the Long White Cloud, can you buy a 2-story house for $229k ? You tell me.

Joke: Even Moses had a motorbike, you could hear the roar of his Triumph throughout the whole of the land.

Leasehold property.

Which means: City Council owns the land, which I pay a Lease fee to them (twice a year), I own the building that I pay Rates on, to the council (four times a year).

There's no incumbrance against this house. i.e. It's mortgage free.

(I paid cash. I never took out a mortgage).

House has 3 year old roof.

• Cheapest house in Otatara.
• This is the closest house to Oreti Beach & the Pacific Ocean.

Property is a Handy Man's dream, as it requires a bit of work.